“I ripped the b*tch’s wig off and threw it in the crowd and I left...”
I’ve been on a train of nostalgia for the past few days. I live in a ‘cordless’ household, my HBO subscription does not work outside of the US and I got tired of Netflix, so I decided to watch some episodes of Girlfriends on You Tube. I mean, who doesn’t like a good old, 30 minute sitcom? Plus, I’m finally allowed to watch and appreciate the content- oh my mother had me in bed before these episodes started at 8:30pm on a Tuesday night. One remarkable element about the series is how thought-provoking the content is-again another thing I would not have picked up on as a six year old.
On this particular episode I watched, Toni got into a brawl with some other women at the club. One utterance of the ‘B word’ and she was tangled in a web of 'sistas', scrambling at hair and body parts. Joan, the show’s main character, did not jump in and defend her friend Toni in the fight. When confronted, she said, “Violence is never the answer…why we always got to give white people something to talk about.” The first part of her statement is universal, almost everyone agrees. However, the part about giving another race a reason to comment on black people’s behavior intrigued me greatly.
We’ve all heard of the stereotypes that are cast on the black community- ghetto, loud, tardy, even violent and uncultured. Those who know better are aware that the negative traits out of the aforementioned are not subject to the black community. However, blacks who carry out such actions are usually not regarded as individuals but rather as a blanket with which the racial group gets covered. Just think about it, how many non-blacks who indulge in similar behavior cause their entire community to become classified as ‘hood’ or ‘ghetto’? (I’ll wait for the numerous examples).
Notwithstanding the fact that many are erroneous in their application of stereotypes and generalizations, as a black woman, I see the importance in reflecting on how our community is regarded. I have several instances on which I can draw. As a student of an HBCU, I am surrounded by blacks, every single day. While I do love my college, I was alarmed by how many fights occurred on my hall during my first semester as a freshman alone. Stepping over big hoop earrings and pieces of braid or weave after a fight was actually a thing. Once, recently, I overheard a colleague cursing about a fight in which she was involved- which seemed to be a totally pointless one as well. “I ripped the b*tch’s wig off and threw it in the crowd and I left,” she drunkenly uttered. Appalling? Maybe or maybe not but that’s just some of what happens at one school.
What about in other sectors, like media and entertainment? The majority of shows at our disposal are sub-standard (I really want to say ‘trash’). Let’s be honest-Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, Real Housewives, Black Ink Crew-they all have the same mediocre idea. Woman walks into an upscale restaurant for brunch (because you know, they’re classy), they exchange words for about 30 seconds and then the next thing you see is champagne flying through the air like a projectile. Nails get entangled in each other’s hair and the production team and security are holding them back from each other. CUT. Now, I know that there are ‘ghetto’ shows like this which represent other demographics as well- My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Jersey Shore, Vanderpump Rules, etc. It is just harmless entertainment, right? However, the difference is that blacks are in the minority when it comes to media representation. Whites have their caricatural ‘reality’ shows but they also have a wealth of indy and blockbuster films, primetime series, etc, that portray more dignified characters.
Black media representation has always been limited, hence the advocacy for diversity and inclusion in Hollywood (the Blaxploitation era is a whole other story). Thus, when we have negative portrayals of the black community on the majority of media platforms, it creates a powerful narrative and feeds into the stereotypes, generalizations and even influences real life behaviors of people in the community (media making theories have some truth to them). Joan was within reason to say that black women fighting outside the club was giving others something to say about our race. However, this is not about what others think, but rather what we think of ourselves, and more importantly what we do. Disclaimer: this is not a ‘racist rant’ (because in recent times speaking on race relations seems to equal racist) but rather a call to action to seek empowerment. Our strategies for problem-solving and peacemaking are considerably weak. According to the US Bureau of Justice, 52% of homicide offenders are black. That figure can be disputed but there is no denying that black on black crime and violence are real phenomena (I wonder if there was too much or not enough ‘ass-whooping’).
You should not call yourself ‘woke’ if you are sleeping on all the self-inflicted wounds.
Lamentably, a lot of the much needed solidarity and unity within the community are mostly demonstrated when the atrocities are committed by someone of a different racial group. While justice should always be sought, I still believe that we need to hold ourselves accountable for our own flaws as well. So, the next time you catch yourself cheering on a fight between some black brothers or sisters, or worse yet joining in, recognize yourself as an accessory to communal suicide. You should not call yourself conscious if you contribute to Public Safety shutting down your school’s Homecoming party before it even starts because of violence. You should not call yourself ‘woke’ if you are sleeping on all the self-inflicted wounds. After all, if black lives, black culture and black everything else matter; it should matter most to you, the black owner.
P.S. Fighting just ain’t cute.